Kisshu and the Attack of the Fan Girls & Hater
by AngecondaBite
Summary: Kisshu finds himself in a sticky situation when his teleportation skills are thrown off completely.  Every time he tries to visit his beloved Kitten - he ends up meeting one of his fans.  Involves mad scientists, ninjas and more, oh, and fangirls - BEWARE


**Wazzup peoples? Long time no post, huh? Sorry 'bout that, I've been addicted to drawing lately and haven't been in the mood for others things (such as writing, and web-design). ANYway, I've had this crazy idea for a while now, but FINALLY got around to writing it about a week ago. ^^ One of my best friends, IanK24 helped me along with this story (such as giving me links to random plot-generators, which will explain why this story is so ridiculously RANDOM XD) - and even helped my out of my stupid writer block - so I just wanted to say THANK YOU :D **

**BTW, Kisshu-fangirls... BEWAAAARE. :) Anyway, here's the story. ^^ ENJOYYY**

A young, green-haired alien named Kisshu sat on a tall, looming sky scraper, overlooking the vast city of Tokyo. His amber eyes narrowed, and cheeks rose into a satisfied grin. He had it all planned out now. Ichigo would be his by the end of the evening if things went the way he planned, which he figured they would.

He had spent the evening reading fan fictions on the internet about the Mew Mews' adventures, and his… apparent creepiness and stalkerness. It was so odd reading a story about himself that wasn't in any way accurate to his personality - or his thoughts. That however, was beside the subject. He had not been reading through fan fictions about himself for pleasure, or perhaps not _all _for pleasure, but rather a brilliant scheme. Several of these stories were about him transforming into Masaya - and going on a date with Ichigo in that particular form. In most of these stories, he failed utterly and miserably - but he was smarter than that, right? He would be smart enough to act _somewhat_ like that fool of a boy, Masaya - and yet still retain his awesomeness. Plus, Pai had given him a Similarious plant potion that was supposed to change him into any form he wished, with incredible detail.

Even now, he clutched the little glass bottle in his hand and stared into the crystal blue contents. Could this really be the key to winning Ichigo's heart? If he could pretend to be Masaya for most of the night, and, if things went well and Ichigo had fun, he would relay to her that he was not Masaya, but rather himself. Then she would realize that she really _did _like him, but never gave him a chance.

He grinned. Now was his time for action.

l*l*l*l*l*l*l*l

Ichigo watched enthusiastically as Pai waved his hand over the glowing orb ahead of them. She could see Kisshu's rippled form streaked throughout the globe, and colours erupt around the already blurry form.

"Do you think it worked?" Ichigo's voice was tinged in anticipation. "Will we be able to watch the whole thing?"

"Indeed we will." Pai stated flatly. "Otherwise I would not have summoned you here to help me with this project-"

"Prank." Ichigo cut in. "You mean prank."

Pai smiled evily, "yes, that is what you call it here. This will be fun."

l*l*l*l*l*l*l*l

The air began to evaporate around Kisshu as Ichigo's face formed in his mind. He felt the usual rush of wind as he was quickly teleported to where he had imagined would be Café Mew Mew. He opened his eyes slowly, waiting for a smack in the face from Ichigo, but it didn't come. As his eyes adjusted to the dim light of what appeared to be a young girl's bedroom, he saw someone sitting on a bed nearby. She was a girl, not much younger than himself, and had curly red hair and freckles sprinkled across her face. She held her chin in her hand and her eyes were closed as if daydreaming. Suddenly, the peaceful, content look began to twist into a wrinkled frown and she burst out. "What IS that smell?"

Kisshu's eyes widened. Was she talking about him?

The girls eyes suddenly jerked open and she breathed in sharply. "I… knew you'd come." she sighed and looked at him with huge brown eyes, almost looking like she would cry from what was either joy or sanity-loss. "I knew you would come if I thought about you long enough."

Kisshu gaped at her. Who on earth was this girl? And why did she act like she knew him? "Do… I know you?" he managed.

"Yes!" the girl snapped. "I'm Ichigo!"

"What the-"?

The girl leaped from her bed and stood tall in front of him. "I had my name legally changed to Ichigo, and I died my hair this colour so you'd notice me! Although, since my hair was black, it turned out more orange than burgundy - but come one! I act JUST like her." She then leapt back onto her bed and recited, "To the earth I will be of service ~Nya!" She beamed. "Seee? Memorized! Those are Ichigo's EXACT words." She then hopped down and dashed to her closet. She closed the door, and after a few seconds bolted out wearing fuzzy black ears, and long bell-decorated tail and carrying what looked like Ichigo's Strawberry Bell. "Can you call me Kitty-Cat now?" She pleaded.

"Why you lying little thieving little-"

"No-no-no! I didn't take anything! I spent all my money on these things. They're not _real. _They just look like it." The girl displayed the faux Strawberry Bell, and even pressed a button on the back. It lit up and made incredibly annoying sounds.

The answer suddenly came to him. This girl was what was considered in the fan fiction world to be a fan girl. She was apparently in love with him, even though they had never met. "Look, little girl - you're not Ichigo, and I don't even know you, so I'm leaving now." He raised his arm to begin teleportation, but the girl clung to his arm. "Don't leave please!" she pleaded. "I've wanted to meet you for so long now, and I didn't think it would ever happen. But it did! And it might not again! Please don't leave!"

"You'd better believe it won't happen again!" Kisshu snapped. "See ya!" he added as she let go of his arm.

Perhaps he wasn't thinking clearly when he tried to teleport to Ichigo.- after all, he had been a little over enthusiastic. He cleared his mind as he teleported, and focused only on seeing Ichigo. He opened his eyes, and to his dismay saw a blonde girl sitting at a cherry-wood desk, head bowed, scribbling down words on a sheet of paper. Without thinking, he groaned. Of course, the girl spun around and leapt from her seat. "KISSHU? Is dat rally you? Yer so… reealistic."

Kisshu frowned, trying hard to process what she had just said. "Was that English?" He asked flatly. "And my name is not pronounced Kish-oo - it's Kees-shu, get it right."

Completely ignoring what he said, she squealed, "OMWz, I'm so happy yer here, cuz now I can show you dis fanfic I wrote 'bout you and Ichigo." she grinned widely, and held up the paper. "An, there's one about me and you too, but it's not done yet. I kind uf gave up after 'bout 900 words or so."

Once again, Kisshu let the words slowly translate through his head. "Okay one, it's Itch-eego - not Ikk-igo. Two, most fan fictions I've read about me are really creepy. Why would I want to read your's?"

"Cuz it's awsum!" the girl jumped up and down with the paper flailing in her hand. "Pleez read it?"

"Don't know why that was a question, but okay, fine I will read over it really quick." He reluctantly took the few sheets of paper and immediately noticed the disarray of the misspelled letters all over the paper. "Oi, even I write better than this." Kisshu muttered quietly. He then began to read… ahem, attempt to read, the jumble of words until his eyes widened at the third paragraph. "Woah, woah, woah, I'm _not _a stalker! I would never teleport into Ichigo's house uninvited!" his eyes continued to scan the page until he then looked up at the eager girl in front of him. "Where on earth did you come up with these ideas? What possessed you to _write_ this?"

"Cuz yer so awesum! I had tuh write about you, even tho I'm not a very good writer.." she looked up and him sheepishly.

"That's the understatement of the century." With that, Kisshu teleported yet again, but only after hearing the girl's yelling of "Don't leeeve - I haven' shown you da udder one yet!" He hoped dearly that third time was a charm, and the next face he would see would be his Kitten's. But hoping was useless, for he soon found himself standing in front of an elaborate oak dining table, unfortunately occupied by a little family of four. He stood awkwardly for a second, and then was attacked by two squealing, blonde-haired little girls. He looked up to see the Mother of the two girls staring at him with a horrified look in her face, and turned to see that the Father suddenly had a flaming torch in his hand and a stack of paper in the other. "So _you're_ the one they keep drawing." He growled gruffly as he held up the paper in his hand and began to melt them in the fire. "This will be you shortly." Kisshu shrieked like a little girl and jumped back only to find that a little white-haired scientist was behind him. "Just paying a visit!" he said in a high chirpy voice. "I've finally finished my research on how to destroy aliens, so I'm ready for dinner now." He glanced at Kisshu's horrified face and noted, "You have rather long ears." Kisshu quickly teleported. At that moment, he didn't care if he met another crazy fan girl, just so long as he could get away from _them_.

Naturally, Kisshu found himself in yet another room facing a brown-haired girl tapping away at her computer at her small study. She whirled around at the sound of Kisshu's feet touching the floor and screeched, "Oh my WORD, you're alive!" She jumped up from her seat and gave Kisshu an enormous bear-hug.

"No, I'm a zombie. Of course I'm alive! What else would I be?" Kisshu peeled away from the girl, and dusted his arms off in annoyance.

"Well, I didn't see the last episode, so maybe you were revived. But I couldn't watch anymore after you died! It was just too tragic, and you looked so cute…" she folded her hands and stared up at him with loving eyes. "I made a video about you and Ichigo, want to see?"

"Why would I want to see that?" Kisshu demanded. "But then again, I would like to see how I looked before I tried to kiss Ichigo those couple of times. Alright, show me."

Quickly, the girl pulled up Youtube on her slim computer screen and went to her channel. "Oh wow! Look at all my latest comments on the video!"

Immediately, Kisshu saw the comments, "ICHIGO, WHY DIDN'T YOU KISS HIM?" and "WHY DOES ICHIGO NEVER LOVE KISSHU?" he looked away. _That sure helps my self-esteem_, he thought glumly.

"Okay, so here it is!" she announced. The video immediately began by playing an extremely depressing song, by Evanescence, from the sounds of it. He reluctantly watched the times he made a fool of himself in front of Ichigo, and the times that she turned him down, and lastly…. He was stabbed. By that Deep Blue character. He was flung across the room and Ichigo ran to him and lifted his head in her arms, sobbing. Kisshu leaned forward to try and steal one last kiss, but-

"Oh my word, is that really what I looked like?" he burst out. "No wonder she didn't want to kiss me!"

"What are you talking about?" The girl asked, clearly dumfounded. Just then, her door rattled, and a man appeared, clad in a deep brown cloak and a brown plaid hat holding a magnifying glass in his hand, and a long slender pipe in the other. "You called?" he asked casually.

"Oh, hi Dad." the girl responded in an equally calm tone, then in a quiet tone directed towards Kisshu, "He comes whenever I ask a question."

"I have come to find out what 'he is talking about'. It appears he is talking about the fact that he is very ugly, and that video makes him look scary washed-out."

"What?" Kisshu demanded. "I didn't say anything of the sort!"

"Now, don't be a rabid porcupine - you were _thinking_ it."

"Nuh-uh!" Kisshu replied defensively. "I happen to be happy with the way I look, and if you don't mind, I'll be leaving now!" With that, he again teleported, again hoping to have succeeded in finding Ichigo this time.

The blur of the teleport shrouded around his eyes, and as it cleared, he saw a jet-black haired teenage girl sitting quietly at a brown leather couch, her eyes fixed on the TV screen in front of her. Kisshu sighed in exasperation. "Okay crazy fan girl, you can come attack me with a hug or force me to read your fan fictions now." meant as sarcasm, he still expected the girl to dash up to him and express her admiration for him in some wacko way, but, much to his surprise, the girls' shoulders rose, and back arched as if angry with something. She whirled around with a dagger-like look in her face. "I'd know that stuck-up, arrogant, purely insulting voice anywhere!" she stood up and walked over to him with her fist clenched. "You, whom every Tokyo Mew Mew fan is somehow madly in love with, when there is a perfectly sweet, nature-loving Masaya out there! How dare you, you selfish little-"

"Woah, wait!" Kisshu said, holding his hands up submissively. "I was totally being sarcastic when I walked in here. I've been bombarded with hyper fan girls for the past.." he looked up at the large circular clock decorating one of the walls, "hour or so. Gimme a break."

"Oh you LIKE it! Don't even give me that." the girl looked like she was ready to hit something at this point. "You just wish your 'Kitty-Cat' would act like that to you!"

Kisshu's eyebrows raised in a look of disbelief. "I would rather she became an evil, thieving ninja than act like one of those fan girls, believe me."

Just then, the tall, mahogany front door burst open and a person, dressed head-to-toe in black leapt into the room. "Alright, gimme your lunch money!" a muffled, but feminine voice announced through her face-covering mask.

"Take his!" the Kisshu-hater girl encouraged to the ninja-girl. "It's probably all stolen anyway!"

"I'm not a thief!" Kisshu said, extremely annoyed by now. "I don't actually _have any money."_

"Yeah, 'cuz you probably spent it all on carrot sticks!"

"Why the heck would I want to by a bunch of carrot sticks?" Kisshu asked, his last nerve beginning to whither.

"Why else would you be so scrawny?"

"I live on a dying planet! DUH!"

"Mm hmm, sure."

Kisshu wrinkled his nose and glared. "You're unbelievable!"

"Why? Just because I'm not in love with you, like everyone else?"

Kisshu sighed in exasperation. "Just shut up, okay? I'm going to try and find Ichigo again."

Suddenly the ninja giggled. "How about you just go and try to find some money instead? I'm right here, ya donut!" she pulled off her mask to reveal bouncy strawberry-red colored hair, and big violet-gray eyes. "You're going to need it if your going to take me out!"

Kisshu's eyes widened, but then he frowned. "You're another crazy fan girl pretending to be Ichigo, aren't you?" he sighed. "And you're going to keep lying about being her, so I might as well go find the real Ichigo now." He then teleported again, leaving the red-haired Mew standing alone with the Kisshu-hater.

"I… am the real Ichigo." the girl said glumly. "Watching him endure all that, and yet still try and find me, I decided maybe he was worth giving a chance."

"Does that mean I get Masaya?" the Kisshu-hater asked eagerly.

"And THAT is a whole new Fan-Girl story altogether!"


End file.
